Celestial Food Warfare: Saishu Unmei
by HappiestMeal
Summary: Fast food mascots manifest on another plane of existence- fighting for the affection of humans. Get ready for a high action comedy brawl in Celestial Food Warfare: Saishu Unmei!


p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"strong style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"span style="font-size: 48.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Kunstler Script'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"Celestial Food Warfare /span/strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"strong style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"span style="font-size: 22.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif';"Saishu Unmei/span/em/strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: normal;" align="center"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 16.0pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif';"Written by Will Nichols /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: normal;" align="center"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 16.0pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif';"Art by Ember Mann/span/p  
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p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"span style="font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif';" /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"span style="font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif';" /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"span style="font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif';" /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"span style="font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif';" /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"span style="font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif';" /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"span style="font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif';" /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"span style="font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif';" /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"span style="font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif';" /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"span style="font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif';" /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"span style="font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif';" /span/p  
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p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"strong style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif';"Prologue/span/strong/p  
div style="mso-element: para-border-div; border: none; border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.5pt; padding: 0in 0in 1.0pt 0in;"  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; border: none; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext 1.5pt; padding: 0in; mso-padding-alt: 0in 0in 1.0pt 0in;"strong style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/strongspan style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif';"Between the scattered starlight and the obsidian void of space, there is another dimension- just adjacent to ours. On this celestial plane of existence, beings are manifested specifically for our enjoyment. You have been to what mortals refer to as a "fast food restaurant," before- yes? What if I told you that these burger joints were the secret battlegrounds for an ancient war? Every time you go to purchase some cheap fried food, you are voting for a faction- giving them strength and increasing their power. Would you believe me? u/u/span/p  
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p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"uspan style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif';"span style="text-decoration: none;" /span/span/u/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanIn the beginning there was Magna Portio, the realm where all food mascots are born. There were four distinct orbs of light that ascended above the others, gaining their start in the most humble of places. As their popularity on Earth increased, so too did their strength in Magna Portio. These beings would soon become so popular that their identities began to form. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThe first was Arthur, The Burger King. His shining smile could not be mistaken. The King was a kind ruler, offering bountiful feasts to his subjects at low prices. Next was Ronald McDonald, The Jester of Fortune. With a wild flame of tousled red hair and mischievous makeup, The Clown would often play practical jokes on his fellow mascots- never doing any serious harm of course. Third was Colonel Sanders, The Warrior of Spices. In his youth the mascot would seek out glory and perfection- both in his food and in his life. Finally there was Celeste, The Starbuck Goddess of Foam. She would travel the depths of space in search of knowledge and ancient arcane spells. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanAt first the four deities shared Magna Portio without conflict or strife, but as the years went on they began to realize that their very existence depended on rivalry. Who had the best value for the most food? Who had the best kid's meals? Who had the best desserts? Every single question sewed seeds of doubt in the mascot's minds. They were created to give the mortals nourishment and toys, but it was all too predictable how twisted things became. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThe mascots divided themselves into four factions, each one vying for the affection of the humans. The Burger King created The Emperor faction, promising riches and the power to conquer all that stood in his way. Ronald McDonald formed The Trickster faction, encouraging individuality and freedom- fighting to live life to the fullest. Colonel Sanders started The Soldier faction, founded on principals of brotherhood and comradery. And Starbucks made The Sorceress faction, guiding the lost with an elevated and enlightened perspective. /span/p  
div style="mso-element: para-border-div; border: none; border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.5pt; padding: 0in 0in 1.0pt 0in;"  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; border: none; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext 1.5pt; padding: 0in; mso-padding-alt: 0in 0in 1.0pt 0in;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanNobody remembered how it all started- The Celestial Food War. Soon the four factions began fighting over territory, claiming small victories over their enemies. Others started picking sides, all fast food mascots being forced to make an impossible choice. All of Magna Portio hung in the balance, and in a way so did Earth. The leaders of each team developed combat techniques to fight the others, calling them The Fast Food Arts- and as the mascots became more popular on Earth, so too did their mystic martial arts. In no time at all the once peaceful Magna Portio turned into a hell scape. /span/p  
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p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 200%;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif';"In one skirmish where The Tricksters were fighting against The Soldiers, Ronald lost one of his most beloved comrades. Struck down by The Colonel's "12 Herbs and Spices Technique," Mayor McCheese lay dying in the clown's arms- hemorrhaging ketchup. In that moment something snapped inside of Ronald. Perhaps that darkness had always been lying dormant inside of him, but the hatred the mad jester felt for The Colonel only grew and warped into insanity. As his cheeseburger ally fell limp against him, McDonald vowed to eliminate the other factions… even if he had to become the very thing he wanted to destroy. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThe war hasn't ceased since that day. More and more mascots have joined the factions, and more and more consumers continue to pick a side, unknowingly sparking the embers of conflict. But to what end? When will one rise above the warfare and return Magna Portio to the realm it once was? As the light begins to gather and the pieces fall into place, the stage is set for our story to begin… span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/p  
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